How to Raise Your Confidence...

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light not our darkness that frightens us. We ask ourselves who am it to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?

Actually who are we to not be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people wont feel insecure around you" - Nelson Mandela (on his inauguration night)

Why are we so fearful? Why do we lack confidence so often? To be honest, I don't know that answer. Maybe its because we are so used to being average, maybe because originality is no longer celebrated in school. I mean this is the age of the assembly lines and college degrees. Or maybe we lack confidence because we have experienced failure to many times...who knows?

What i can tell you is 5 ways to overcome your self doubts and fears and increase your confidence:

1) Know who you are. Ever wonder why in the first chapter of Matthew 17 verses are dedicated to stating who begot who and what Jesus' lineage was? Well, simply put its because It helps us understand who he was! Sometimes to help build your confidence you just need a refresher course on who you are. Ask a relative to tell you some funny family stories, maybe some stories of triumph over adversity. Maybe ask around the family what peoples occupations have been, what talents they have had. All that information will help you to find out some interesting things that can help your boost confidence by knowing what others in your family have done. It gives you a sense of pride.

2) Preparation. I love to be prepared. I hate not being prepared. Whenever i have to conduct a meeting at work or speak at an engagement, nothing helps me feel more confident than knowing exactly what i will say or speak about. The more you know about a subject matter, the higher your comfort level and thus raise your confidence. In whatever area you seem to lack confidence, push hard to make your self an expert in this arena.

3) Swagger. I define swagger as the culmination of personal style, being culturally aware and charisma. Swagger is the ability to make yourself rememberable. Taking it a step further, swagger is also your ability to use what is unique about you to gain a personal advantage. If your haven't had this experience please hurry and have it, because it builds confidence big time. In order to have swagger, you need to find out what you like and learn about your surroundings. I know i have big time swagger! Wherever i go people ask me what i do, mainly because my swagger (and God's favor) is so big! Even though I'm small in stature, usually my presence in a room is big...because i walk in like i own the room. This is no brag on me...I'm just saying when you develop a swag, it boosts your confidence and others notice it too.

4) Attack! If you are afraid of something...don't run from it, attack it! I used to be the type of guy that would avoid conflict at all cost. Even if it meant not talking to someone I loved! I wouldn't demand great service when i went out, because i didn't want to have conflict. I even would back down in arguments because i didn't feel like conflict. Now i have learned to be like David...i hasten to Goliath. If i order food to be picked up and i discover that they left out the cutlery, i will drive back and demand it, even if i have cutlery at home. Why? because I deserve for them to remember the cutlery! I have to be extreme in this area, because my demeanor is naturally to be more accommodating. Some of you may have to do the same. Become more demanding and confrontational (sounds crazy don't it). Don't let people treat you any old way! Attack your fears and demand respect!

5) Remember the worst outcome really isn't that bad. Sometimes ask yourself; "what am i scared of?". If they say no...so what, life goes on. If i loose this money, so what...its money, i can make it again. Remembering that the worst outcome isn't death will help you become more aggressive in your choosing. Be confident in choosing and asking for what you want!

- the hipster